I started using the phrase “weight-based abuse” to describe many of the terrible things that are done to fat people in the name of “health” or “acceptance” or “love” because I believe that language matters so much when it comes to the politics of resistance and the process of recovery.
I read so many scientific and media articles that talk about “weight stigma” or “fat shaming,” and then I think about all of trauma that is revealed to me on this blog and in my own lived experiences, and those words seem too weak and ineffectual to describe the actual experience of growing up fat in a fat-hating society.
Being forced to diet at a young age; being sent away to camps to starve and overexercise; being shamed and emotionally berated for eating; being taught to mistrust your own body’s hunger and satiety cues; being punished for eating; being told over and over and over again that you need to starve to be acceptable – that you literally deserve to starve; being harassed or assaulted by strangers and loved ones because of your size; being denied love or companionship; denied clothing that fits; denied space to exist comfortably. Being denied healthcare.
A number of people, both fat and thin, have written in the notes or sent me a message saying that the experiences I described above are the reason they developed an eating disorder.
I hear you. And though the causes of eating disorders are complex, there is little doubt that for people with certain neurotypes, weight-based abuse can trigger an eating disorder, and for many others, it can cause disordered eating. That is one of the most well-validated observations in the scientific literature, and it is just one of the many reasons why I believe that the types of experiences I described above are abusive.
guys!! If you know anybody who needs a roomie in Toronto please let them know I am looking! LOL i just need a place close to city hall tell them I’m nice and cute and funny and most importantly that I won’t be around ((: like ever ((: like I’ll literally be gone from Monday – Friday 7am-9pm everyday
my family is sooooo funny tbh like,,,, on my mothers side theyre all repressed catholic farmers who never left their village and hate their neighbors for obscure familial reasons while the women end up either locked up in psych wards or super into church things or alcoholics… the men are super violent and abusive or end up killing themselves… they fuck their own cousins so like a third of my family has severe health problems and all,,,,,
meanwhile, on my fathers side? theyre all gay autistic artists who are severely depressed and also atheist like. when i came out to her my grandma CAME OUT AS BI, my cousins are lesbians & happily married, my great-aunt was a gnc/nonbinary butch lesbian,,,,,,
its so funny cuz when i go visit my mothers family im like,,, the Gay Intellectual Cousin but when i visit my fathers family im just. another book lesbian. the one who follows familial tradition. a Real Honorable Member of the Family
so like. i dont believe theres a gay gene or something. but 🤔🤔🤔🤔 half the women in my family are gay & i didnt even know it before coming out lmao
like literally my coming out was like
grandma from my mothers side: “…….. well……. keep praying……. science is making progress…….. theyre maybe gonna find a way to treat AIDS……… and then……. your kind……”
grandma from my fathers side: “oh honey i know! by the way im bi! haha :)”
also this is surreal but i keep seeing lesbian wedding pictures on here and while theyre all gorgeous, not a single one of them comes even close to the raw lesbian energy my cousins’ wedding had, according to the pics my grandma showed me, like it was in a big countryside house, and it had:
– goats and sheeps in the nearby fields coming to visit
– wooden furniture – handmade by the butch
– lil ceramic frogs and toads and snails as a decoration
– rainbow pennants
– tartan everywhere
yall tumblr lesbians dream about my cousins’ wedding
my family is sooooo funny tbh like,,,, on my mothers side theyre all repressed catholic farmers who never left their village and hate their neighbors for obscure familial reasons while the women end up either locked up in psych wards or super into church things or alcoholics… the men are super violent and abusive or end up killing themselves… they fuck their own cousins so like a third of my family has severe health problems and all,,,,,
meanwhile, on my fathers side? theyre all gay autistic artists who are severely depressed and also atheist like. when i came out to her my grandma CAME OUT AS BI, my cousins are lesbians & happily married, my great-aunt was a gnc/nonbinary butch lesbian,,,,,,
its so funny cuz when i go visit my mothers family im like,,, the Gay Intellectual Cousin but when i visit my fathers family im just. another book lesbian. the one who follows familial tradition. a Real Honorable Member of the Family
so like. i dont believe theres a gay gene or something. but 🤔🤔🤔🤔 half the women in my family are gay & i didnt even know it before coming out lmao
like literally my coming out was like
grandma from my mothers side: “…….. well……. keep praying……. science is making progress…….. theyre maybe gonna find a way to treat AIDS……… and then……. your kind……”
grandma from my fathers side: “oh honey i know! by the way im bi! haha :)”
