ok so the other day i was at sears. I was in the baby section. Im standing there looking at clothes and a lady who works there comes up and is like “oh are you expecting?” And i was like “uhhhh” and because im a dumbass i was like “no i already delivered.” And she was like “How long ago?” And i was just like “two weeks.” And she said “wow! You look great! When i had my first son, i looked like a mess for six months. Is it a boy or a girl?” And i was just awkwardly like “a girl….” And she asked her name and i said Chernobyl and she was like “oh what a cute name! It sounds really familiar.” And i honestly just stood there going through all that and pretending i had a human baby two weeks ago named Chernobyl because i didnt wanna tell this poor lady i was buying baby clothes for my fucking baby opossum
every time i see this text post i forget the ending and every single time it decimates me
“You’re rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic, my friend.” Is such a brilliant line that sounds like it came outta the cigarette addled mouth of some noir detective interrogating a slimy perp, but no, it was actually Justin McElroy admonishing his brother’s driving skills in American Truck Simulator™️ and I think it’s beautiful how we can all just say words
gay sex in movies is either like FULLY unhinging their jaws to attack each other’s faces or soft light finger touch…..oh so slow…..if our palms touch i might turn intó a million crystalline móths…..look at my shoulder
medusa-avenging-squad 