I want to be perfectly clear: everything on my blog is gay content. Everything. That gif of Hayley Williams? I’m gay for her. Political posts? My gay opinions. A cactus? Lesbians love a succulent. If it’s on my blog it’s gay now sorry I 100% make the rules.
i was telling my very cis and very straight therapist about how i stopped being attracted to my ex when he came out as a man bc im a lesbian and she said “yes, this is normal. attraction of the physical features makes only a part of attraction. you’re as attracted to your mind projection of the body as to the physical body in itself.”
all the highly empathetic people i know in my life have had abusive home lives and that’s because we were trained to read a situation at any given moment in our homes and learn how to react within seconds because if we didn’t and said or did the wrong thing, we’d get fucked up and beat and hurt
but like subconsciously always reading the mood of any atmosphere or space you’re in, always being able to gauge how people feel, it’s not a fucking gift, it’s exhausting. you can’t turn it off, even if you want to. you read the situation and if it’s negative, you freak out because if someone’s angry at you, it’s the end of the world
like we’ve internalized the scars from our childhood when an adult being mad at you was the worst thing ever and it’s carried with us into adulthood. it’s hard to unlearn all that.
so like a lot of us have mental health or anxiety issues because we also start internalizing all the energy from people, be it positive or negative, and so anxiety-inducing and frustrating to the point of tears
