If God never existed, then whose heavenly staircase did I march up, whose heavenly host did I best in battle, and whose severed head do I keep stowed in my basement?
I’ve come to realize that having an adolescent cat is like you gave a two-year-old a knife, and you have no way to take the knife away. Periodically the two-year-old gets pissy and tries to threaten you with the knife to get what it wants. So you can pick it up and hold it at arms length to keep it from stabbing you, but no matter what you do, you can’t take the knife away from the two-year-old.
a while back my best friend linked me to a thread on homemade My Little Pony transformation hypnosis tapes
that’s a really loaded sentence so let me ease into it
they were like, hour long recordings you were supposed to lay down and listen to and focus on nothing else, that started off with some relaxation techniques then eased into like, “feel your hands becoming hooves. remember pinkie pie’s happy memories. imagine yourself literally becoming pinkie pie. imagine your pink mane. you are literally pinkie pie”
all with the goal of putting you in a mental state where you were convinced you were this cartoon pony. and it was full of people like “wow! this was so relaxing. i felt like i literally Became rarity”
the problem is that human brains are kind of, buggy? so people, especially if they listened to the tapes too much, started like, accidentally going to this mental state they’d created at random inopportune times. the thread was suddenly full of people desperate to know how to stop it because they were turning into rainbow dash in the middle of driving on a highway to work, or whatever
anyway, i’m just burdened with that knowledge forever, now. i think about it a lot
this post radiates unfathomable amounts of dark energy
