Tag: same

furiousgoldfish:

Struggling long
term with abuse as a child, detaching from it and living inside of my head,
inside of some kind of made-up world I made to feel safe and okay, was my only
option of survival. I didn’t have anyone to turn to, I could tell nobody cared
if I was in distress or pain, I plunged into my own fantasies and stayed there
as long as I could. However, doing this long term caused a side effect, I was
starting to lose any emotion connected to the real world. I would live my life
like a zombie, not caring about anything, not being able to feel a thing. I
would only feel like I’m alive while inside of the fantasy, and anything else
was irrelevant, it might have been non existent.

I would stay
emotionless zombie for months, and it would scare me. I would eventually
realize that I can’t feel anything, that I have no emotions. It made me feel
even less human than I already felt. I ended up doing anything to regain some
sense of feeling, some sense of care, because I was turning into a person I
didn’t like, or want to be. It would take weeks, or even months to somehow make
myself normal again, to make myself indulge with anything in real life, because
real life proved terrifying and unbearable, but living without emotions wasn’t
bearable either.

And so I went thru
all this alone, not having anyone to talk to, to admit that I was going thru
something that scared me, that I didn’t know why it was going on. I remained
cautious for a long time not to lose my emotions, not to turn into a zombie. I
could tell it wasn’t what I wanted for myself. And finally, I forgot all about
it. Because it was another fairly traumatic thing for a child to go thru, and I
couldn’t comfortably think about it until I was ready to admit that my life was
filled with horrors. I’m sharing it now because I’m certain I wasn’t the only
one struggling with this. If you remember a similar experience, share it with
me.

the-feeling-is-mutual:

theshitpostcalligrapher:

theshitpostcalligrapher:

i dont know what it is about loose persimmons that makes me astral project into a past life as a street urchin in 12th century urban china but when i see that mom’s bought some I immediately give into the impulse to stuff at least 2 of them into my pockets with greedy lil hands

hey everyone whats your astral projection food/experience 

uh whenever I eat bread and water I feel like an impoverished little child lost in the woods trying to ration her food to stay alive 

holding a cup of hot soup makes me feel like a street urchin gratefully accepting some soup from the soup kitchens and clutching it in my freezing grimy fingers

and lastly whenever i eat a hot pastry i turn into another street urchin grabbing it from a bakery and hunkering down in the winter behind a cart to break it in half and eat it quickly

how can nb people be lesbians???? this has always bothered me so much. in order to be lesbian you need to identify as a girl and be attracted to other girls. that’s all. nb don’t identify as girls they identify as nb so….. it makes no sense. there’s no hate on this. really. don’t get me wrong, I don’t go around calling people out just because I don’t agree with what they’re doing. I just ask.

allobottomprivilege:

Identifying as an NB lesbian usually means the gender and sexuality are directly linked to each other, with the NB identity being a direct result of being a lesbian. Being a lesbian and not fulfilling society’s expectation of women being available for men and so many gender roles being built around what men want can lead to women being dysphoric towards their own body and disconnected from the concept of womanhood while at the same time holding onto their lesbian identity as that’s what lead to their gender identity in the first place. You’ll often see NB lesbians who say “my gender is lesbian” or “my gender is dyke” because being a lesbian is WHY they don’t feel comfortable considering themself a woman