Tag: mood

posteriorsteak:

jadensilver:

sindri42:

aphrodeiti:

Do you ever become desensitized to your own trauma?? Like you’ve been dealing with it for so long that when you accidentally let it slip out in conversation and the persons like “um oh my god?” You’re like wow I forgot my life has been one unspeakable horror after another #noted

The primary upside to an anxiety disorder is that you’ve been living in fear for so long that sometimes when something that ought to be legitimately terrifying happens it’s a drop in the fucking bucket and you just keep going without breaking stride.

This can also mess with the people around you, though. My family all think I’m some sort of emotionless monster because I never show any outward sadness or worry when things go wrong. 

I’m good in a crisis because of this

aohkii:

Now, this might sound really corrupt, but I think in some ways, the stereotypes that surround lesbians set me up for a lot of disappointment – in media and mainstream lgtbq culture there’s this stereotype of mean, nasty lesbians who don’t shave, who hate men, who are butch, and who reject all social normalcy in order to embrace a full-fledged dykehood that’s filled with the outdoors, social involvement, and the unashamed love of women. Instead, rarely do millennial girls and young women even identify as lesbians (wlw, sapphic, girls who like girls), and if they do, they adamantly deny any ties to radical lesbian culture, they cling to femininity as if their life depends on it despite being cosmopolitan white girls with good home lives at zero risk of blowback, they run “sapphic” blogs that celebrate conventionally attractive women while disowning all the ugly “others.” In online lesbian circles, the term “butch” means a girl who maybe has short hair but still wears makeup, shaves, and passes the “are you an acceptable woman” benchmark with flying colors – the real butches, bois, and bulldykes are the ones who fall victim to Autostraddle thinkpieces about the “privilege” of masculinity. Every day, I’m bombarded with quirky sapphic messages telling me it’s okay to be “cute, soft, and gentle” despite that being exactly what’s been expected of me my whole life. This message has traumatized me and other girls for the entirety of our childhoods – how is this progressive? I’m told that “lesbians are so pure, angelic, ethereal” on the same blog that insinuates all butch women are predators seeking to violate sapphic safe spaces with their “masculine energy.” I don’t know, maybe it’s wrong of me, but I want the “bad lesbians,” the ones who are ugly, strong, unafraid, complex, butch, brown, black, and society’s enemy. I want the u-haulers and butches with seven cats, I want the women who love and fuck and fight and get their hands dirty, I want poor dykes and tired dykes – I want the dykes, not the sapphics. 

nemophilies:

“In the antigarden represented by the desert, the question accompanying the poet like her shadow under the sun is: Who am I to be so alone? Who am I if I am not with another? The demand for another is always mute but piercing. All these texts ask for another and all the poets ask for another language, even for a foreign language perhaps, because the essence of poetry is to find strangeness in language.”

— Hélène Cixous, Readings: The Poetics of Blanchot, Joyce, Kafka, Kleist, Lispector, and Tsvetayeva

“We sleep in language,” writes Robert Kelly, “if language does not come to wake us with its strangeness.”

— Ilya Kaminsky, from Of Strangeness That Wakes Us: On mother tongues, fatherlands, and Paul Celan