tea drinkers: unlike you filthy disgusting creatures i only drink green chamomile peppermint raspberry lemon tea, which makes all my insides glow 10 times brighter and improve. i can feel my body get healthier by every drink i take of my delicious hot mug of TEA. youre absolutely disgusting and a waste of human potential
coffee drinker: hhhnng lov those beans
someone tagged this as #tw drama
coffee drinkers: i am unimaginably powerful. i can see through time. i haven’t slept in four days but who needs sleep when you are on a higher plane of existence. the beans are in my soul, they are in my heart. i AM the beans. soon i will vibrate at the harmonic resonance of the universe and transcend.
tea drinker: hhhhhhhhhhhot leaf juice
soda drinkers: death is coming. death is coming. pass me a hotdog.
energy drink drinkers: (just the fucking kill bill sirens played on repeat for eternity)
tea drinkers: ah yes, leaf juice
coffee drinkers: I have not slept in three days, my blood is caffeine, I’m a biology major soda drinkers: what’s water
energy drink drinkers: *violently vibrating*
tea, coffee, soda, and energy drink drinkers: ¯_(ツ)_/¯ issa liquiod i like to consume somtimez
Penguin falls down resulting in best sound ever [x]
oh my god
NOOOOOOO
they all gasped like OHHH
IM CRYING IM PHYSICALLY CRYING HE FALLS AND THERE ALL LIKE WHAAAAWHOA U OK BRO AND HE GETS UP LIKE *SIGH* YEAH ITS FINE
Having a bad day? push play, and within six seconds all you will feel is tears of laughter streaming down your face and the stomach cramps of laughing too hard.
This is one of the finest things ever captured on film.
the human life is a strained and tense one. i envy the life of a smooth rock resting on the beach… warmed by the sun… unaware of the trials and tribulations of sentient life…
social media was a good development because back in ancient greece it didn’t exist and people would just be yelling their opinions in the city square instead and the only way to block them was murder or exile
the court of athens, sentencing socrates to death for “rotting the youth and disrespecting the gods”: blocked, unfollowed, reported
opening a cold can of coke and guzzling at such high speeds that you struggle to breathe is right up there with climbing stairs on all fours when it comes to animalistic urges
i feel like knowing the word “yonic” (the vagina equilavent of phallic) really changes a person because after that point basically any shape or objective can be classified as genital-shaped. eyes? yonic symbolism. fingers? phallic symbolism. thats all there is
poking yourself in the eye? a cunning symbol of sexual intercourse
exactly!!
Might I add:
Yonic the Hedgehog
you might not have, and yet you did, entirely cognizant,
Imagine if you were a Christian medieval person from a small village and you had a feud with your neighbour… how annoying would it be to see them in church every Sunday? Not only are you obliged to be in the same space with them every week but you’d have to watch them receive the sacrament and have their sins forgiven even though you know damn well they don’t deserve it… and on top of that you get the priest preaching “love thy neighbour” from the pulpit, I think the fuck not, I’ll not love an unneighbourly misbegotten churl such as he, preach though thou might, father
I think I just got possessed by the ghost of a man who’s still really upset about his neighbour’s pigs eating his cabbages
medusa-avenging-squad 