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Le sachié-tu ? Zola = Beckett + Aragon.
Tag: gino’s soliloquy
ok i know its selfish and that i have no right to feel this way but it makes me feel both terribly mad and terribly helpless to see my friends liking and admiring my mother, and going out to have a drink with her like i know they have every right to appreciate her – she was an amazing teacher after all – but it kills me to see them talk about her with admiration in their voice when they know (maybe not in detail, but in general) what she did to me,,, like yes they have their personal lives and not everything has to be about me but i just feel like this whole situation is unfair……
anyway.
just realized im turning into the exact opposite of my mother,,, like… the negative of this monster
my mother: aggressively straight, ultra feminine cis woman
me: nonbinary butch who will never get caught wearing a dress or makeup ever again
my mother: all about appearances, cruel, uses her knowledge as an oppressive tool
me: doesnt give a shit about appearances and will cry in public transportation, trying my best to be kind, use my knowledge as a way to help people as much as i can
thats character development!!!!!
just realized im turning into the exact opposite of my mother,,, like… the negative of this monster
me, showing up at the therapist’s door in the middle of a breakdown, tears running down my face: hi how are you today
Im gonna write a full paper on the ways Cassandra and Medusa are portrayed bc there are so much similarities and im Big Mad
honestly i never really complained about my parents being homophobic bc i was convinced i was lucky they didnt straight up killed me but like,,,, it wasnt even remotely okay. but i was so used to extreme pain and abuse on their hands that it didnt… really change anything. but like… they almost kicked me out at 16 tho. and theyre only “"more accepting”“ now bc i dont live with them anymore & theyre basically… acting like decent people bc im far enough from them lmao
like my mother literally refused to talk to me or look at me or even eat with me, only interacting to remind me how disgusting and awful i was, while my father resented me for that & said it was all my fault……… for w e e k s lmao thats not even one of the most fucked up things they did to me
honestly i never really complained about my parents being homophobic bc i was convinced i was lucky they didnt straight up killed me but like,,,, it wasnt even remotely okay. but i was so used to extreme pain and abuse on their hands that it didnt… really change anything. but like… they almost kicked me out at 16 tho. and theyre only “"more accepting”“ now bc i dont live with them anymore & theyre basically… acting like decent people bc im far enough from them lmao
can someone please kill me thats the only good thing to do rn let the void run free it makes me rot from the inside please, someone
medusa-avenging-squad 