hi anon! random fact about my life: funny story of how i actually adopted the familiar of a recently deceased witchÂ
the year was 2005. i was 7 and at the music school. the school year was over, and i was with the other children of my music theory class, having a party in the schoolâs garden. there was juice and cookies and, more importantly, no adults, and a cat. there were plenty of cats hanging out in the schoolâs garden, because an old lady who lived in the building around the school fed them. so, we were like, 12 or so seven years old, and we saw the cat, so the natural reaction was to run towards him and try to pet him. the cat didnt give a fuck about us, he was sleeping (out of our reach) on the wall, things were normal.Â
and then we heard an old ladyâs voice screaming:Â âlittle rascals! stop harassing this cat! right now!!â. it was the old lady living nearby and feeding the cats, wearing all black, carrying a ripped supermarket bag, standing right in front of us. she waved her walking stick at us and we ran away screaming. then she left the garden, and was back in the street, out of sight.Â
so we started bugging the cat again.Â
approximatively 30 seconds later, we heard her voice again, screaming:Â âyou should be ashamed!! leave this cat alone!! immediately!!â. and it was her, same bag, same clothes, same walking stick. we were a bit surprised to see her again, but still ran away. then she left again.Â
âhow could she be back so quickly?â we wondered, standing in a circle, whispering. âwe didnt even make that much noiseâ.Â
âshe lives right there, in this buildingâ, i tell them. (musical theory classes were so boring, i had noticed where she lived exactly). âmaybe she saw us from her window.âÂ
she walked very slowly, and we could still see her.Â
âsomeone should follow her just to make sure, so when sheâs really far away we can play with the cat againâ, someone says. we made a random selection and i was chosen to follow her.Â
so i started walking a few meters behind the old lady. she walked from more or less 10 minutes, to the tram station. i waited for her in front of the station. i saw her get on the tram, the tramâs doors closing, and the tram starting. the next station was 20 minutes away (by foot). i made sure she wasnt on the platform anymore, and ran back as quickly as i could to the school. once there, i told the others:Â âits okay! shes gone, i saw her getting on the tram, we can play with the cat now!â
so we started bugging the cat again.Â
and then. behind us, a voice. âthis is it! im fed up with you little brats!!!! go away!!!âÂ
it was the old lady again.Â
***
we never cleared that one mystery – the others accused me of lying, but i know what i saw – and years passed. it was now 2010. i was 12 and still going to the same music school. i made a friend of an adorable, big muscular black cat usually sleeping behind the building the old lady lived in. i petted him and played with him twice a week when coming back from music lessons. it was summer again, and i was petting the cat when a man came to me and asked me if i knew the catâs owner. i told him no, and asked why. he sighed. âbecause sheâs my neighbor, and sheâs at the hospital with a final phase cancer. i thought maybe you were related, you kinda look like her.â i told him i was sorry for her, and he left.Â
when the school year started over this year, i stopped seing the buff black cat. but another cat had arrived. she was a calico, and unless the other cats hanging out in the garden, she did her best to get inside the school and getting petted. she liked everyone, including me. she was so cute, and so willing to get adopted i convinced my parents to adopt her. she was obviously an indoor cat, having all of their reflexes, and adapted really quickly to our home. i was persuaded she belonged to the old lady, since she was used to a quiet life and arrived when she had passed away. one of the schoolâs secretaries told me she believed it too.
i never saw the black catâs owner in person, but i doubt there were more than one mysterious old lady living with 15 cats and having magical powers in this very ordinary building.Â
so that was the story of how i adopted a witchâs familiar cat.Â
Tag: gino’s soliloquy
im still alive, listening to music and baking a delicious chocolate cake!!! can you believe????
update: i gave half the cake to my neighbors and they were really happy!!! i love humans!!!!!!!
update: apparently the neighbors baked cookies today too and they just gave me a full plate of them!!!! now ive got a chocolate/almond cake and home-baked cookies!!!!!!!!!!
im still alive, listening to music and baking a delicious chocolate cake!!! can you believe????
update: i gave half the cake to my neighbors and they were really happy!!! i love humans!!!!!!!
im still alive, listening to music and baking a delicious chocolate cake!!! can you believe????
a fools guide to not wanting to die anymore
by me, a fool who doesnt wanna die anymoreÂ
- never make a suicide joke again. yes this includes âi wanna dieâ as a figure of speech. swear off of it. actually make an effort to change how you think about things.
- find something to compliment someone for at least 4 times a day. notice the little things about the world that make you happy, and use that to make other people happy.
- talk to people. initiate conversation as often as you possibly can. keep your mind busy and you wont have to worry anymore
- picture the bad intrusive thoughts in youe head as an edgy 13 year old and tell them to go be emo somewhere else
- if someone makes you feel bad most of the time, stop talking to them. making yourself hang out with people who drain you is self harm. stop it.
⊠8|
Thatâs some pretty good advice. I donât know whatâs left of my humor after âguess Iâll just dieâ jokes but itâs worth a shot.
Personally i went from âguess Iâll dieâ jokes to âIF I HAVE TO BE HERE FOR 5 MORE MINUTES I PROMISE YOU I WILL BUY JUST, AN ARRAY OF CLOTHES.â and other wild hyperbolic stuff. Just replace the death part with something ridiculous and off topic. Its very entertaining
This also works with calling myself things like stupid, worthless, trash, etc. Even if you do this jokingly to yourself, your brain still believes it, and keeps up the cycle. Seriously, I found that when I stopped saying these things about myself, even jokingly, it made a massive difference.
Hereâs a tip I picked up from a friend thatâs helped me a lot â replace self deprecating jokes with ironically self aggrandizing jokes
Like every time I trip and fall, instead of saying âlâm just a disaster humanâ I say âIâm the epitome of grace and beautyâ
Or like, when I draw a picture Iâm not 100% happy with, instead of saying âmy art is trashâ I say something like âyou know I think itâs time we replaced the Mona Lisaâ
When you do that you get to make a joke, but youâre ALSO getting practice building yourself up, yâknow?
And eventually it becomes a reflex and you get so used to it that you can say nice stuff about yourself even when you ARENâT joking
Make a decision to have self compassion – treat yourself the way you treat the person/animal/anything you love most
so the screaming possums were actually singing phantom of the opera huh
oh so i didnt hallucinate writing this postÂ
my meds are kickin rn
i love questing in drustvar because i, too, fall on my knees sobbing when the abomination my mother is stands before me
i try to make my french poems kinda light and not that depressing but my english ones go like âlmao bitch you thought go d i e alreadyâ so, sorry for that i guessÂ
i also want to emphasize the fact i have literally no control over my style in english whereas i can do almost anything in french. my english-speaking inner self is a chaotic depressed bastard that has me catching glimpses of how fucked up i am and,,,,, this is Uncomfortable
like chill dude, i meant to write a silly short poem about fresh laundry, no need to splash half of my trauma history into it, it was about fresh fucking laundry okÂ
i try to make my french poems kinda light and not that depressing but my english ones go like âlmao bitch you thought go d i e alreadyâ so, sorry for that i guessÂ
ive had some words from a poem stuck in my head for a few days now and like, they were gorgeous, but i didnt know where it came from. i looked into my jaccottetâs books but it wasnt there so finally i googled it and,,,, apparently i wrote it bc there are literally no results, but i still wasnt sure so i went thru my old stuff and this was actually from a poem i wrote when i was 15Â