lmao my mother is such a transparent bitch like????

we were talking about a woman we know and i told her i didnt like her because she sees me as a free babysitter and doesnt even say hi or thanks or please before she literally hands down her brat kids to me, someone who 1). doesnt know well how to handle children and 2). would prefer to read alone in their room, thanks.

and my mother went like, “but her kids are disabled, and shes selfish, it must be hard for her!” (the boy is ill and the girl is like, bad a reading or something i don’t even know but its a mental disorder of some sort). and she was like “can you IMAGINE what it must be to have a MENTALLY ILL child????? it’s HELL you cant blame her!!!!” BITCH IVE BEEN MENTALLY ILL MY WHOLE LIFE AND IM YOUR CHILD ARE YOU AWARE OF THAT OH NO OF COURSE YOU DONT SINCE YOU ALWAYS LAUGHED AT MY SYMPTOMS AND SAID I SHOULD BE LOCKED IN A PSYCH WARD and literally refused any medical help because YOU WERE SO SURE YOU COULD “ABUSE THE SYMPTOMS AWAY” BITCH 

epicene-street-light:

i found an old poem i wrote when i was 17 and:

1). god love does make you blind

2). this is like the longest poem ive ever wrote (5 pages)

3). how is it still good after all that time

4). i was talented and probably still am

thanks for the attention, thats all, have a nice evening

heres the first half of said poem:

IN MIST SHE WAS STANDING – I.

dans
son odeur de bois vert

s’élève,
grince et

se
convulse

le
télescope à voir dessus

les
mains savantes

l’érigent

le
souple lien

de
cuir percé

segmente
la lumière

calmes

les
arbres dans

l’air
désespéré

(voici
que l’écran

à
fixer les images

se
laisse imbiber de lumière

à
travers

les
carreaux opaques)

l’interrogatoire

du
plan gravé

de
petits points

en
relief régulier

(par
la pulpe du

sensible
arrêté

encore
presque incertain)

DRAME
(subit)

l’ultime refuge du châssis :

de transparence fine

aux doigts collante

la mince protection plastifiée

roulée impitoyable

condamnée à ne plus recouvrir
qu’elle-même

dans l’ombre, dans

l’autre coin de la chambre

par quelles opérations

de la main lucide

la projection

sera-t-elle matière

(en
faisant tomber

parallèlement

les barrières

peut-être l’idée entraînée

dans la fumée-torpeur

acceptera-t-elle

de se laisser surprendre

– empâter ? –

dans la couleur

au contact luisant)

se répercutent les ombres

raclant

la
lucide au-delà du
temps

toile

la fumée réduit

la braise

aux dents serrées

***

la brume défie sa création

entre rayons d’ombre

et rails obstinés

danse

penchée attentive

et chassant le criquet

aux reflets inhumains

c’est la mélancolie du premier
jour

lorsque le blanc trahit

la nuit

le ciel chancelle

le ciel se plombe

il est livide // il va mourir

le jour livide te cramponne
l’intestin

tu étais protégée alors

dans la nuit imprécise aux
objets vagues

ils se déplaçaient

selon ta voix et ton angoisse

(ô lampe

des chemins creux

la nuit t’étouffe)

dans ton propre combustible

avant que ne s’abatte la nuit
ardente

des criquets du jour

préservez encore un instant

solitude

de ces lieux ennuités

l’intimité

qui se déchire

le blanc se lève et

c’est soudain la brume

tu repenses aux immeubles

à en vouloir vomir

le blanc se lève et

c’est soudain la brume

qui se délite devant toi

comme cet archer trop lâche

bientôt

on te verra

mains savantes

l’artiste nue

alchimise la toile

cet échafaud

Mais (malheur)

tu passeras au large de la brume

et des criquets

de l’angoisse

la brume avait le goût

des poubelles éventrées

d’un homme ivre errant

et de plastique brûlé

LES FLAQUES D’EAU

DÉMULTIPLIENT LES INSTANTS

DÉMULTIPLIENT LE TEMPS

À L’AIDE

à l’aide

… condamnée
à la mine

crissant sur le lin blanc.

i found an old poem i wrote when i was 17 and:

1). god love does make you blind

2). this is like the longest poem ive ever wrote (5 pages)

3). how is it still good after all that time

4). i was talented and probably still am

thanks for the attention, thats all, have a nice evening

epicene-street-light:

ok but im so convinced names (the one you got, the one(s) you chose, what your parents almost named you) are really telling & shed some light on the person you are

like my name means “poems, magical words” and i write poetry, my mother wanted to call me Athanase which means “the one who doesnt die” and i survived lots of shit that SHOULD have killed me, my mother wanted to call me Lesbia for a while (my father did get her to change her mind, shes a classics teacher and was like “but its a beautiful name it was the muse of some latin poet!!”) and now im the biggest dyke around… like theres a pattern here

lmao i bumped into a girl i went to highschool with and she was like “omg i cant believe its you!! youve changed so much!!! we should throw a party with all the people we went to highschool with!!!!!! that would be awesome!!!!” like yeah bitch youre right i cant wait to see all the people who literally wanted me dead again, especially now that i look more like a dyke than ever before

im so used to like, not hearing or seeing my name anywhere since my birth name AND my chosen names are so fucking rare i literally JUMPED and spilled my tea when i heard a song starting by “come on in, Gino”