Tag: gino’s soliloquy

—get to know the writer tag

tysm @writings-of-a-tired-ravenclaw !!

answer 10 questions, tag 10 people, and write 10 more questions for tagged people to answer.

1. do you have a writing schedule or set deadlines?

i dont, really. Well, this year im taking two creative writing classes tho! so, my big prose poetry project has a deadline bc it will be my creative writing final project, and i have to write a poem a week for my poetry class haha

2. what music do you tend to listen to when writing?

Usually classical music, or something soothing, because im often triggering by my own writing (i tend to try and write about traumatic stuff lmao so i gotta be realistic and back in the moment. writing sucks sometimes)

3. what have been some influential books or films or tv shows that have shaped what you write?

omg. there are way too much books. ive done nothing but read books my whole life. the author who certainly shaped me the most is (in poetry) Philippe Jaccottet. Honestly, if you can read French, you should give him a try! His book (novella? idk) L’Obscurité (The Darkness – dunno if its been translated into english) is probably the biggest influence on my current prose poetry.

Other influences: WoW (the whole concept of the void).

I also got inspired by Apollinaire, and, in prose, Virginia Woolf, Flaubert of course, Sartre, Sylvia Plath… Really, most 20th century writers inspired me lmao. Lets not forget Diderot, Renée Vivien & Monique Wittig of course!

4. which cliche or trope is your favourite?

Before realizing i was a nb lesbian i always had a really weird fixation on… you know, classical theater plays? like, Shakespeare, Marivaux, things like this, in which the young girl dresses up as a man (bonus if a girl flirts with her lmao). im really weak for this trope

5. do you have a character based off yourself?

The child in the first short story of the book im writing is strongly based on my experiences with elitist music classes. Also the main character of my third story is based on my highschool experience of homophobia, suicide attempts, abuse and mental illness.  I like to write about past experiences, because thats what i know, but while transforming them, you see? making them separate bits of fiction, and a story that can stand by itself. I dont see the point of just telling a story, like “this happened to me and now youve got to read it”. I work a lot on my style. Its also a sort of protection, i guess. Distanciating myself from the painful memories, sort of. 

6. have you taken any creative writing classes?

i met several writers, and went to creative writings…. seminars? like, by myself. it was more of a “i give you a theme and were all going to write by ourselves then read it and comment on it” kind of thing (when i was in highschool). and as i said, i took 2 creative writing classes this year! its a novelty, there is no creative writing classes cultures like in the US in France. Were very academic and theoretic here lmao

7. when you write is it by hand or typed up?

i usually write poetry in my Notes app on my phone, or i use my computer. when the poem is done, i write it down in a notebook! and my stories are written on computer

8. which oc of yours is the most likely to be found raiding the fridge in the middle of the night and what would they be eating?

mh. i dont really write OCs? like, ive got characters, but i dont really focus on them as a person. i write more about moments, crisis times, things like this. theyre not real people, and i dont want the reader to think of them as such. 

that being said… the child from my first story is way too scared of her parents to raid anything in the middle of the night lmao. The teen hides almond chocolate in her bookshelves. But its really not relevant to their stories haha

9. what would you say your theme song is?

“Moondown” by William Sheller. Or “Le Rosier jaune” / “Monocle et col dur” by Juliette. 

10. how many different genres have you tried writing/written and which ones are easiest for you?

Ive only tried poetry (free verse mostly, more recently prose poetry) and short stories. the first thing i “seriously” wrote was a kinda criminal? story when i was 8. It was called Who killed the three little pigs? and AWFULLY bad lmao

by far the easiest thing for me is free verse poetry tho, and poetic prose

Tagging:

@wolfsnape @nechrollomicon @tiberelechat ! aaand if you follow me and write, please consider yourself tagged!!

you can choose to replace some of this questions with:

– do you often edite or rewrite your writing?

– do you read it aloud?

– neologisms and gramatically incorrect sentences: yes or no?

– the best compliment you got for your writing? 

in the summer of 2011 i was 13 and visited my grandparents who lived in Canada at the time and they had this Canadian friend who had a swimming pool & she told them i could use it so i showed up in my bathsuit with my grandparents and she smiled and said “i heated up the water just for you its 95° now!” and i SHRIEKED bc i was sure she was gonna boil me alive like a fucking lobster

Me: finally! im in a healthy environment full of loving, supportive people and im studying what i love. I can manage my mental illnesses! What could possibly go wrong?

Anxiety: glad you asked. What if you became blind?

Me: … what? I literally just have myopia. Theres no reason i would become blind.

Anxiety: but IMAGINE. it would suck so much! you’d just have to KILL YOURSELF!

Me: dude, what the fuck

Anxiety: :))) youre gonna be blind.

epicene-street-light:

epicene-street-light:

last night i woke up at like 3am, thought “psych wards patients are like cats who are shut in the bathroom for being naughty”, and immediately went back to sleep

to add a bit more detail (hi @corasticot ) my ideas were:

– neurotypicals send you to psychiatric hospitals because youre a “threat” to yourself or the others but really, theyre tired of your bullshit. no owner seriously thinks shutting their cat away in the bathroom will make them understand why they shouldnt make a mess in the kitchen. at most they hope they figure it out and get too scared of the bathroom to do it ever again. no person will think in good faith that locking up a depressed/anxious/psychotic person will do anything else than scaring them to make them conceal their symptoms (im not talking expensive private clinics. some ppl have good experiences with them. im talking horrific state psychiatric hospitals where literally every “freak” get sent. youve got old ppl with dementia and a young adult with autism and depressed ppl and schizophrenic ppl in the same building like no big deal. with no therapy whatsoever)

– psychiatric hospitals look like big ass bathrooms, tiles floors everywhere, sanitizer, and white, no comfort

– naughty-cats-that-get-locked-in-bathrooms typically lament and yell behind the door until you free them. my psychiatric hospitals neighbors did that too and i was almost ready to do it too: you need attention from your owners/medical staff because youre lost and trapped

– btw, you get “locked up” in a psych ward like naughty cats 

– you’re super bored bc there is literally no enrichment/no activities. you’re ripped off all your possessions (they took my hairband and books away)

– you often dont know why youre there in the first place. do you think the cat that made a mess in the kitchen 5 hours ago knows why hes locked up in the bathroom? neither do most patients

thanks for coming to my ted talk and lets burn psychiatric institutions to the ground comrades

precision: NO im NOT anti psychiatric care & research. its quite the contrary. but as long as we will live in a capitalist society that deems you “useless” or “a threat” if you cant reach the productivity goals they set… prisons and psychiatric institutions will stay horrifyingly abusive. Why do you think the big stigmatisation of mentally ill people and the first “petites maisons” (in france) appeared approximately when capitalism started existing??? its NOT a coincidence. 

Sure, there are good people in psychiatric institutions. Empathetic people. Ive met some. They were incredibly sweet and generous. But their hands are tied, because Money, the State policies, and such, dont allow them to offer the care that mentally ill people NEED. 

Also: i mentioned cats AKA pets on purpose. Because medical staff is all-mighty. Youre literally at their mercy for anything. It’s not a caretaker/vulnerable person dynamic. It’s a power dynamic. They will threaten to sedate you if you disturb them. You dont have a say in what meds youre taking. You literally have to beg for basic necessities, such as your personal possessions, clean clothes, social contact… And they can refuse it. Its the ground for abuse, and at best unbalanced relationships. 

“But i had a good experience with a state institution!” The problem is that good experiences of state institutions for mental health are a accident. If – by miracle – you’re locked up in an humane hospital, with a caring staff, and everything is going well, its not the norm. And it takes an enormous mass of work from every member of the staff to achieve this, because everything about the way hospitals work makes it easier to torture patients than to take good care of them. And you shouldnt have to play russian roulette about your mental health. 

Noticed how i talked about state institutions? it’s on purpose. Sure, there are people who have good experiences with psychiatry, because they got sent to private clinics they could afford.

But the problem is… most people can’t afford private clinics. State hospitals are free here. I’m not gonna pay 2,000€ to have care because!!!!! i cant afford it!!!!!! and im not poor. Im white, and middle-class. MOST PEOPLE CANT AFFORD IT. 

guess what? the root problem is capitalism. Because care for people who might not even become “productive”, and medical care in general, is considered useless. Illness is supposed to be a “temporary problem”. And if its not…… you better have money for that. Not to mention the deep stigma around mental illnesses there is. 

epicene-street-light:

last night i woke up at like 3am, thought “psych wards patients are like cats who are shut in the bathroom for being naughty”, and immediately went back to sleep

to add a bit more detail (hi @corasticot ) my ideas were:

– neurotypicals send you to psychiatric hospitals because youre a “threat” to yourself or the others but really, theyre tired of your bullshit. no owner seriously thinks shutting their cat away in the bathroom will make them understand why they shouldnt make a mess in the kitchen. at most they hope they figure it out and get too scared of the bathroom to do it ever again. no person will think in good faith that locking up a depressed/anxious/psychotic person will do anything else than scaring them to make them conceal their symptoms (im not talking expensive private clinics. some ppl have good experiences with them. im talking horrific state psychiatric hospitals where literally every “freak” get sent. youve got old ppl with dementia and a young adult with autism and depressed ppl and schizophrenic ppl in the same building like no big deal. with no therapy whatsoever)

– psychiatric hospitals look like big ass bathrooms, tiles floors everywhere, sanitizer, and white, no comfort

– naughty-cats-that-get-locked-in-bathrooms typically lament and yell behind the door until you free them. my psychiatric hospitals neighbors did that too and i was almost ready to do it too: you need attention from your owners/medical staff because youre lost and trapped

– btw, you get “locked up” in a psych ward like naughty cats 

– you’re super bored bc there is literally no enrichment/no activities. you’re ripped off all your possessions (they took my hairband and books away)

– you often dont know why youre there in the first place. do you think the cat that made a mess in the kitchen 5 hours ago knows why hes locked up in the bathroom? neither do most patients

thanks for coming to my ted talk and lets burn psychiatric institutions to the ground comrades