epicene-writings:

Just another regular anecdote

… She had said, and i

Was sitting on the bed

I had not a right to anymore.

*

C’mon, i thought, you knew

This was bound to happen!

You’ve rehearsed the play over

And over again;

You know exactly

What to do.

No suitcase, yet, but eventually

They’ll probably allow you one

Since she likes it when things are done

The way they ought to.

For now, your school

Backpack, your laptop, phone, and chargers;

Your textbooks, notebooks, school books

So as not to fall behind – Remember,

You have to get out of there.

(You know exactly

What to do.)

Then underwear, some pants, and shirts

And don’t forget

Your poetry book.

You’ll stand

Outside, on another street,

And give her a call; she’s your friend,

And got her own flat

In the city, after all.

She’ll surely offer shelter

For a few nights, and you’ll tell her

You’ll do the dishes, take no space

And be quiet. You know

How to be quiet; it’s been so long!

Quick! You’re running out of time,

And it’s not

As if you had ever liked this house

And the whole life she carved out

For you anyway.

You know exactly

What to do!

So why won’t you do it?

Now, why are you still sitting

On that bed? The cat

Isn’t purring in your lap;

You have no excuses

To delay your not-so-dramatic exit.

Quick! They want you

Out, so get out, and take

Your things, since

You know exactly

What to do!

*

And the door

Squeaked slowly, and he

– My father –

Stepped in, declared

– Somber, and looking

At the window:

“Dinner’s ready. She

Changed her mind. You stay,

But she won’t eat with you

Or have contact anymore.

Now think

Of a proper apology.”

*

And i followed him

Through their house,

Then sat in the kitchen,

Eating her dinner.

this has to stay confined to tumblr since my father reads my bigger professional blog. also this is Important™ to me pls validate my traumatic experiences

epicene-street-light:

my family is sooooo funny tbh like,,,, on my mothers side theyre all repressed catholic farmers who never left their village and hate their neighbors for obscure familial reasons while the women end up either locked up in psych wards or super into church things or alcoholics… the men are super violent and abusive or end up killing themselves… they fuck their own cousins so like a third of my family has severe health problems and all,,,,,

meanwhile, on my fathers side? theyre all gay autistic artists who are severely depressed and also atheist like. when i came out to her my grandma CAME OUT AS BI, my cousins are lesbians & happily married, my great-aunt was a gnc/nonbinary butch lesbian,,,,,,

its so funny cuz when i go visit my mothers family im like,,, the Gay Intellectual Cousin but when i visit my fathers family im just. another book lesbian. the one who follows familial tradition. a Real Honorable Member of the Family

so like. i dont believe theres a gay gene or something. but 🤔🤔🤔🤔 half the women in my family are gay & i didnt even know it before coming out lmao

like literally my coming out was like

grandma from my mothers side: “…….. well……. keep praying……. science is making progress…….. theyre maybe gonna find a way to treat AIDS……… and then……. your kind……”

grandma from my fathers side: “oh honey i know! by the way im bi! haha :)”