lzbth:

me, after eating 1 healthyish meal that might have involved a vegetable: i am gonna sign up for yogalates and spin classes and next year’s marathon i am a pinnacle of health and wellbeing yesterday i may have only eaten a packet of crisps and drank 4 glasses of wine but today i am Health Woman

septemberfirst1989:

car commercials: Smooth. *over footage of it driving on a mountain road* Luxurious. Powerful. Godlike. This Car Is The Secret To Your Happiness. Buy It And Transcend Human Emotion

jewel commercials: WOW! REAL PRIME 45-CARAT STERLING SILVER WITH PEARLS FORGED IN ATLANTIS! CALL NOW TO BUY IT FOR OOOOONLY $100!!! HALF OFF!!!!!!! LIMITED EDITION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! INSTANT CLASS FOR CHEAP CHEAP PRICES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

waterpark commercials: Come for a weekend of family enjoyment! 🙂 Splash! Bash! Laugh! :)) Teens and adults alike agree that this park is fun for all ages! *wolf noise* You’ll come visit! You’ll come visit! You’ll come visit!

restaurant commercials:  Its Back

dankmunchkin:

drummerpreference:

stxnlee:

tilthat:

TIL of the Cathars – a medieval christian sect that condemned war and capital punishment; believed in reincarnation, two gods of good and evil and largely endorsed gender equality. They were annihilated by the Catholic Church.

via reddit.com

If you don’t believe in a singular God and heaven/hell … homie you ain’t Christian

this post acts like they were all well and good and the Evil Catholic Church™️ destroyed them… what they believed was heresy.

how did y’all get a wifi connection from 1348 A.D.

bpdbot:

thesaurio:

bpdbot:

sometimes i have too many emotions and sometimes i have none at all but i always always feel like i’m drowning

Learn how to swim Bitch

i made this post when i was in A Mood and all the replies are so angst and depressing except this Whole Ass Mood. Learn how to swim Bitch it’s 2018 we’re dealing with our problems

softie3000:

fellas

is it gay when ur heart goes skrrra pap pap ka ka ka skidiki pap pap and a pu pu drrrr boom SKYAAA du du ku ku tun tun poom poom💓💕💓💕💗💝💗💘💕💗💓💓💓💖💖💝💗💕 around ur homie

princesspaige:

my #1 hair advice to girls is just. cut it all off. try a pixie cut at least once.

“ohh but I don’t have the face for one”

okay but 90% of men have equally short hair and nobody tells them they “don’t have the face for it”. 

free yourself. try a pixie cut.

sassy-spocko:

usbdongle:

this has happened to me a few times as a kid but the only time I distinctly remember being asked out as a joke, the dude comes up to me from his friend group (we are probably 12 at this point) and is like “do you wanna go out” and I was like “what” and he was like “do you want to go out with me” and I put my books in my locker and I look at him and I go “……no?” because I genuinely didn’t and his shit eating grin falters and he goes “it was a joke” and I was like “okay” and he goes back to his friends and I can see them all waiting for the punchline but instead he came back more confused than me, which is hilarious, because im sure he was expecting me, the fat nerd, to be like “of COURSE I would LOVE TO” but instead I was like “why on earth.,..?”. it probably hurt his ego more than mine. fantastic

In 5th grade we were on a skiing trip with school for a week and as I was waiting in line for dinner a group of girls was giggling and told me this guy had something to say to me. He asked me out and I was like “okay there is no way this isn’t a joke” and I was like “what, are you crazy?” And then I was laughing so hard I had to leave the line and go to my table because wtf

it happened to me all the time too. once a guy came to me (i was like 11) and, giggling, asked me out. i just stared at him with utmost contempt & disgust until he stopped grinning and went back to his friends. 

elodieunderglass:

mcubed35:

…you guys…

Just read an excerpt from a productivity/goal setting book that concerned Tolkien.

His publisher mentioned that people wanted more about the hobbits after Tolkien published The Hobbit.

So Tolkien started another novel.

And apparently bounced between the depths of despair and the height of confidence for the entire process (he said that: “his ‘labour of delight’ had been ‘transformed into a nightmare.’”)

He gave up multiple times.

That book? Fellowship of the Ring.

You know what kept him going? C.S. Lewis’ support.

First lesson: if you’re stressing over your book, remember that Tolkien did too.

Second lesson: Writers have to support each other. Seriously. It might be the difference between a book that becomes beloved by hundreds of thousands (maybe even millions) even existing or not.

 This is fair! This is so nice! I love this!

You know what else kept him going while he wrote Lord of the Rings? Well, 

• having an income while he wrote, that he didn’t really have to work for. In fact, he held his dream job (Professor of Literature) with a full-time income,
  that came with a pleasant private office. He sat at work, for which he was being paid to do something else, and actively avoided doing his actual job while he pursued his own unrelated novel.
• having a stay-at-home wife to run his entire home and family for him.
• having servants…. that helps….
• having a large, pretty house within a pleasant 25-minute walk of work.
• never having to do:
• household maintenance
• laundry
• cooking
• cleaning
• Life Admin
• the not-fun gardening
• the not-fun childcare

• The work day
  of Men of His Time ended when they came home. Women of His Time, and
  Staff, existed to run the rest of his life. And that’s what they did. Jonald Ronald Rolkien Tolkien was the center of his household universe, which existed to support him in every possible way.
• Let’s be real: he was not the person who was up in the night with a teething baby. That was what the nanny was for, followed by the wife. It would have been unthinkable for a man of his time/class to do his own childcare.
• Actually, it’s worth noting that he had in particular a Very Intelligent Icelandic nanny, who lived in his
  house and looked after his four children all day, and was never given a holiday, and told the children lovely bedtime
  stories about trolls and the Icelandic Edda, and who provided a useful
  resource for the language and myth he used in LoTR, until his wife became too jealous.
• I mean, what could YOU do if you had that much support? Write an epic! probably!!

• Because nobody was forcing him to do anything, ever, he slept late and woke up late. sounds nice
• Tolkien did not do laundry. He did not cook meals. He did not
  clean the house. He did not wrestle rice pudding down the necks of
  his screaming babies, while calmly and lovingly answering his schoolchild’s questions. He wasn’t
  making a cake while talking to his boss on the phone and wiping up the
  dog’s sick. He did not spend hours every day in the process of keeping
  his home together, or sorting the affairs of his four children, or sorting out the wifi. The Care and Keeping of Tolkien was outsourced to
  wife, servants, scouts, assistants, waitstaff.
• He would have received free meals at work, although he usually walked home for lunch, where he was served food and alcohol that he took into his private study. but if he didn’t
  want to do that, Oxford profs of His Time could just get free lunch. He could ring a bell to be brought tea and snacks at work. And then he would go home and be served dinner.

• Going to the pub with his friends, who supported and admired him! Sure!
• not
  having to go home in the evening to his four toddlers and children, because he was a Man of His Times! and he could totally
  just spend evenings holed up in a pub with his admirers, because he was not required at home to help, or parent, or do anything in the home, except be served a glass of beer and go into his study.
• god, imagine spending hours in the pub on a work night with a bunch of highly qualified literature professors telling you how smart and lovely and amazing you are. heck YES you’d be encouraged.
• The Hobbit was already popular so it was probably quite helpful to know that while writing the next work.

• Working and writing in a place that is generally considered to be an
  inspiring setting for academia and literature. Want to write Elrond’s
  Council? Sit down at a beautiful old stone table and start writing about the table. Want to write about a tree? Go write under
  your favorite ancient tree in the Botanical Gardens. Want a snack? Ring a
  bell and a scout will bring you toast and a cup of tea.
• I mean, he wasn’t exactly spending his 40 hours a week under a manager’s baleful eye while he manned the self-checkouts at the Tesco in Coventry, or pumped gas for minimum wage in Montauk, scribbling notes into his phone. He floated around The City of Dreaming Spires, dreamily making art, while several people labored very hard so that he would be untroubled by Real Life while he floated.

Let’s be real. Tolkien’s literary accomplishments are very impressive, but he L I T E R A L L Y

was doing them on his work clock with the full support of a pit crew.

To be fair, I love the man. And I love the huffy apologism in the Tolkien Gateway: “Writing  [The Fellowship of the Ring] was slow due to Tolkien’s perfectionism, and was frequently
interrupted by his obligations as an examiner, and other academic
duties.”

I’m ??? sorry that writing a novel on the company dime was frequently interrupted by occasionally having to do his job???? oh my god I love and hate this so much,

Dianna Wynne Jones, of Tolkien’s students at Oxford, commenting “of Tolkien, they said he was wasting his time on hobbits when he should have been writing learned articles…”

maybe because that’s what academics are SUPPOSED TO DO, it is their job,,,

He would also deliberately mumble incomprehensibly, ignoring his students, deliberately delivering terrible lectures, so that they would all go away; but Dianna actually wanted to receive some of the education she’d been promised:

“I imagine I caused Tolkien much grief by turning up to hear him lecture week after week, while he was trying to wrap his lectures up after a fortnight and get on with The Lord of the Rings (you could do that in those days, if you lacked an audience, and still get paid).”

God love the man! Deliberately teaching so badly because he planned to alienate his students and collect a paycheck! He would be flayed on social media for less, today. There would be news articles about the Lazy Professor. He would be fired, and buried, and dug up, and fired again.

In conclusion: yeah, CS Lewis was very encouraging and that helped immensely! But probably so did a secure income, freedom from chores and labor, and a crew of support staff. Who knows what we might do, if we all had that kind of encouragement. We’d probably be very productive.