only literature students make friends by telling a classmate “i loved your analysis of this obscure book’s title yesterday, really impressive! wanna be friends?”
im so glad my analysis skills didnt completely vanish omg
Update: i just had a class about the history of french orthography and my inner 10 yo child obsessed with The Right Spelling In Every Word is living their absolute best life
(In middeschool i wanted to be a lexicologist lmao my dreams were…….. quite something)
We all got tricked by some 9th century Italian riddle can you imagine???? youre a fucking 9th century italian monk writing a quirky riddle and CENTURIES later college students are STILL pranked by your fucking riddle can you IMAGINE omg i love literature
Also ive decided not to be shy around girls anymore since, yknow, got nothing to lose anymore & i chatted a bit with a really pretty girl who is in several of my classes, cause life goes on, right
girls and books: im literally living The Ultimate Dream i wanted SO BADLY for my WHOLE LIFE this is so awesome
Also…….. s/o to those french monks from the 9th century who started to write (oral) french with the latin alphabet cause lmao it was 100% not adapted since half of the french sounds didnt exist in latin and therefore ended up writing things like “gié” for “je” – yall are the reason the french language is Written Like This
one the one hand, you were linguistic macgyvers and did your best with what you had
one the other hand, you’re hated by generations of french children & non-french speakers learning the language across the world
so ¯_(ツ)_/¯
Update: im doing a presentation on gender in Jean Genet’s work with said pretty girl!!! Like, wow!
Update: the guy who complimented me on my analysis skills is my new uni best friend and also very much bi lmao
He told me he slept with fascists to make them change their mind (and apparently, it works). Iconic
only literature students make friends by telling a classmate “i loved your analysis of this obscure book’s title yesterday, really impressive! wanna be friends?”
im so glad my analysis skills didnt completely vanish omg
Update: i just had a class about the history of french orthography and my inner 10 yo child obsessed with The Right Spelling In Every Word is living their absolute best life
(In middeschool i wanted to be a lexicologist lmao my dreams were…….. quite something)
We all got tricked by some 9th century Italian riddle can you imagine???? youre a fucking 9th century italian monk writing a quirky riddle and CENTURIES later college students are STILL pranked by your fucking riddle can you IMAGINE omg i love literature
Also ive decided not to be shy around girls anymore since, yknow, got nothing to lose anymore & i chatted a bit with a really pretty girl who is in several of my classes, cause life goes on, right
girls and books: im literally living The Ultimate Dream i wanted SO BADLY for my WHOLE LIFE this is so awesome
Also…….. s/o to those french monks from the 9th century who started to write (oral) french with the latin alphabet cause lmao it was 100% not adapted since half of the french sounds didnt exist in latin and therefore ended up writing things like “gié” for “je” – yall are the reason the french language is Written Like This
one the one hand, you were linguistic macgyvers and did your best with what you had
one the other hand, you’re hated by generations of french children & non-french speakers learning the language across the world
so ¯_(ツ)_/¯
Update: im doing a presentation on gender in Jean Genet’s work with said pretty girl!!! Like, wow!
modern greek mythology adaptation where hades and persephone are played by john mulaney and his wife
She’s hades, he’s Persephone
Oh no, no. John Mulaney is 100% Hades.
Loves his wife
Is actually pretty chill except when it comes to stupid people
Can’t stand up for himself when others try to do him wrong
And from what we hear about her, she’s very Persephone.
Easy to underestimate
Knows her own mind
Will cut you
“So, I meet this wonderful lady. Just fantastic, my heart does that thing where it’s skipping beats, and I – all of you think I’m going to talk about how I suavely asked her out, and that is not what happened.
“I ride up in my chariot, and the first – this is literally the first thing I say to her is ‘do you want to meet my dog’?
“And this – I – this is a sign that this woman is my soul mate – she looks at her friends hanging around and says, ‘sure, catch you later, guys’.
“I’m going to skip forward here a couple of dates – no, don’t – this is not the story of how my wife met my dog – and her mom – her mom – finds out she’s seeing me. Now I know everyone jokes about how a girl’s dad is this big, hulking – going to hunt you down if you’re dating his daughter and he doesn’t like you. But if you say that, it’s because you’ve never had some girl’s mom glaring up at you from like – her mom’s like two inches taller than her, so this little furious glare from around my chin area, saying her daughter’s not allowed to come see me anymore.
“And this – okay, this is when I knew I was going to marry this girl, she looks at her mom and, cool as anything, says, ‘Too late, mom. I met his dog, ate dinner over here. I’m staying’.”
WAIT…so does that mean….Petunia is Cerberus?
FUCKING YES!!
Guys, Halloween is coming soon. Someone inform John Mulaney about this post stat!
Part of being lgbt is unlearning toxic beliefs about ourselves, and about other lgbt people. It is something we have to consciously work towards. Realizing that we’re gay or bi doesn’t immediately undo those years of resentment that were conditioned into us, and just because we can’t oppress each other on the axis of sexuality doesn’t mean we aren’t still capable of maintaining hurtful beliefs about each other, which does actually impede our ability to heal.
once I was working on a farm with this french guy who was going to school for Complicated Computer Stuff and he decided he wanted to go on a Big Adventure so he and I both ended up on this farm.
And one day we were moving fire wood from a big pile into neat little stacks for the winter and we came across a big wasp nest. Well, actually, we just kept coming across individual, very angry wasps, telling TALES of a nearby nest in the wood.
So the farmers hosting us shoo’d us away and told us we Were Not to go near the firewood again until they took care of the wasps bc they didn’t want any harm to befall us.
So I was happy for the break. I mean, we got plenty of breaks, but I never passed up the opportunity to drop where I stood and take a grass-nap.
But the French boy Could Not Abide wasps keeping him from his Duty.
SO he went back to the pile and started slowly moving logs one by one while I sat up and told him to, uh, Not Do That.
But he was determined. And when he finally found the Big Wasp Nest, and I was on my feet, he said “get ready to run.”
And let me tell you, when a Frenchmen lifts a log over his head, looking Wasps and Death Itself in the eye and tells ya that, you’re on your toes.
And he just fucking. Used a log to smash the nest. He just obliterated it and the wasps went Wild and we RAN.
But after about 15 minutes the wasps moved on, and we could get back to work.
Our hosts were HORRIFIED, and we promised we’d never do anything That Dumb again.
Which of course meant it became standard protocol for the next 10 times we found nests.
But honestly that really changed me. The dude didn’t just squash the wasps. he squashed my fear. Since that day, I have known none. I will SMASH any obstacles life gives me, even if it means running for my life and laying low for 15 mins for things to cool down.
also now this is usually how I always get rid of wasp nests but Do Not Do This
I’m out in the woods for work today and we found a hornet nest on our equipment and I said “it’s okay everyone just get ready to move” ad picked up a huge rock and I took care of it and they said “you are a wild girl Mallaidh Anne” and I like looked into the distance dramatically and thought of the one brave man who brought me here today
I mean its true tho… socially skinny people get away with wearing anything while fat people are critiqued about everything
Bloop
Skinny: wears anything even shapeless, mismatched colours or fabrics, messy bun or “lazy” hairstyle, and (assuming you’re White and present like one of the binary genders), you’re sorta fine. Add a couple of accessories or colour matching, an artsy pose, and you’re set for instagram
Fat women: expected to go the full hyperfemme / pin up look, but with no crop tops, no lace, no leggings, no … no… no…
