cherryaid-fountain:

jemthecrystalgem:

neptunes-salty-butthole:

cheshiretiffy:

pats-a-lats:

Things just transpired in my house hold that are equal parts offensive and hilarious… Here goes.

So my roommate, Dale, has a gf who does not live with us, but she’s here all the time. So Sunday when my gf was her we were on the couch and we kissed (scandalous, I know) and she saw it, and I’m pretty sure that’s the first time she’s seen us be affectionate, that’s neither here nor there.

So today she tells Dale she’s “uncomfortable” here and wants him to move out because she thinks me and my lady are going to hit on her or something, she doesn’t like living with lesbians, cause it’s not “normal”, so now I’m pissed. Then, Dale goes, “well you don’t live here, so it shouldn’t be a problem, just stop coming over”…things escalated and Dale is trying to break up with her, but she won’t leave our house….she locked herself in Dales room.

So, Dale barges in my room wearing a bathrobe and goes, “call every lesbian you know, we’re smoking this bitch out!” Then turns around and whips his robe like a cape…

And that’s the story of how there are 8 lesbians climbing through the window of Dales room…

Holy shit.

This is glorious

I like Dale. He’d break up with a bigoted girlfriend and he wears bathrobes like a cape. Not everyone would wear a bathrobe like a cape.

Some heros wear capes

classicalcarp:

trumpetangst:

(I would have liked to crop some of these gifs (like the accent ones) to make them more accurate but alas, I lack the skills.)

i never knew i needed this in my life until now

novitiate2017:

gabbey-road:

novitiate2017:

the gay experience is total and utter hatred of our physical appearance & then two seconds later complete narcissism and autoeroticism

Not gay but I relate to this

star-eaters:

Do you ever wanna bond with someone so bad you’re like “damn i wish we were knights on a dangerous quest”

straightboyfriend:

qui-bono:

straightboyfriend:

The bar is so low for men…. I could say my type is men who use toothpaste & shower & that cancels out like 88.967% of men

Sexist.

i am literally a man

rosewater1997:

If ur nipples don’t get rock hard listening to ABBA then don’t even talk to me

mercurydaze:

the real “problem with political correctness” is not that it’s considered offensive to use slurs, but that there are now many “progressive” environments where saying the right things is more important than doing the right thing. it’s why it’s so easy for abusers to gain traction in leftist circles (they learn the right words quickly and employ them to frame their own behavior as progressive); it’s why so much potential activist energy gets poured into fighting about language; it’s why moderate liberals didn’t believe fer/guson had a problem until the police emails with actual racist language were leaked. (you can do racist things, you just can’t SAY racist things.) i don’t have a neat conclusion here but a related point is that i’m so much happier since i started focusing on like, being a good kind caring person instead of trying to remove the word “crazy” from the vocabulary of everyone in my family