Bold of you to assume there will be icebergs by 2022

Grandma: darling, i noticed your skin was dry. Here, use my argan oil!

Grandpa:

Grandma: … is there a problem?

Grandpa: …

Grandpa: is it safe? this looks dangerous.

laddermatch:

acoolguy:

anyone else feel good when their brain releases a bunch of endorphins?

ccant relate

why would my brain release a bunch of dolphins

and we have, in order:

– Angus

– Bea

– Mae

OK So i went round to my crush’s house today & she. introduced me as her girlfriend. i was sHOCKED bc i had no idea she even liked me back but i probably should’ve realised when she was constantly sleeping next to me, grabbing my hand, calling me babe and. it was. so obvious. is this just how lesbians are

sunbutch:

y’all are fucking killing me

big lesbian farm

farmsuggestion:

where

swarnpert:

im ready for discourse over which pocket to put your phone in

seavapor:

idlu:

wait a second im sexy

me when I cycle from depressed to manic

animatedwhovian:

in-love-with-my-bed:

queenieeegoldstein:

myca-ruba:

blacksirencry:

swaglexander-the-great:

#That’s a #That’s a blue ringed octopus #You’re going to die do you realise that #It is literally one of the most deadly animals in the world #Not just in Australia or just in the ocean in THE WORLD #Put it DOWN #And go to a hospital jfc via platonic-rabbit

me tryna find out if this fool died

The venom kills in minutes and there is no antivenom and the bites are painless so there’s a solid chance they died

He’s actually still alive and has an instagram called william_exotique. The octopus appears to be his pet and he posts videos and pictures of him holding it and touching it a lot so I have no fucking clue what’s going on there

Love conquers all apparently

swarnpert:

you: its a shot glass

me: just a small cup in case you need a little sip of water

aphextwinandpcgamingguy4422812:

many people have been complaining about the surge of porn bots… personally i havent noticed… however i have seen a rise in increasingly beautiful and mysterious women who wish to court me