newfavething:

“I only mix three rounds of wine for moderate men – one for health, which they drink first, a second one for love and enjoyment, and a third for sleep. Sensible visitors go home when this one is finished. The fourth round is out of control and is ruled by violence; the fifth one by commotion, the sixth by drunken rowdiness, the seventh one leads to black eyes. The eighth round belongs to the police, the ninth to nausea, and the tenth to craziness and hurling the furniture.”

— Euboulus, quoted in Athenaeus, Deipnosophistae 2.36b, trans. Lisa Nevett, Domestic Space in Classical Antiquity (2010), p. 43.

“wow dude how drunk were you last night?”

“omg dude you have no idea”

“really?”

“yeah i went all the way up to the “hurling the furniture” round of wine dude”

“dude holy shit”