You know – i wouldnt be so loud about being a lesbian if i didnt spend years of my life – all of my formative years, in fact – hating myself and being ashamed of the monster i saw myself as – for that. Im still not over it & will probably never be. I reclaim my ugliness & monstrosity bc i dont want to be appalling to straight, cis people but it hurts. It hurts so much. And i feel really alone. Having to claw your humanity out of the hands of those who want your kind to be dead because theyre “aberrations” – it hurts. I dont think it will ever stop hurting. Its okay, tho. Im still there. But it hurts.