bipeds:

greek gods as perceived tumblr crimes

zeus: horny on main

hera: always reblogging those sleepover ask games that are like “girls night! tell me your darkest secrets and your crush’s social security number”

poseidon: gaining secondhand fame due to association with popular tumblr users

hades: url hoarding

athena: adding correctional/unnecessary comments to other people’s posts

ares: “discourse blog” participating in all sorts of furry/kinnie/ace drama

aphrodite: constantly self reblogging

hephaestus: name/age/racefaking

dionysus: drunk blogging

apollo: having an absolutely illegible blog theme like neon blue on black (or color schemes to that effect)

artemis: getting called out for some shit (fake of real) and remaking your blog + identity instead of confronting the issue

demeter: loading your queue with aesthetics posts that all look vaguely the same. there are zero personal posts on your blog. no one really knows your name

persephone: still referring to people/things as “smol bean” and “precious cinnamon roll”

hermes: going on strangers’ posts and saying things like “op ill steal your kneecaps” and “listen here bitch”

hestia: having a hyphen or multiple hyphens in your url