furiousgoldfish:

interviewing an abuser: so, whats the best thing about having a kid?

abuser: Well, I’d have to say, it’s taking credit for everything they do, and watching how scared and trapped they get when they realize they’re completely at my mercy and I can take away their food and shelter whenever I want to. Of course, I have to keep them alive but then again, I can make them work for me, without paying them, so there’s profit right there. People who buy stuff to their kids are stupid, you just have to make them believe they’re worth nothing and don’t even deserve to eat and they wont ask for a thing! They’ll even be all nervous when they have to ask you for money and you just have to remind them that they’re waste of resources and ungrateful little vermins who don’t ever give anything back and just sit back and take all your money for yourself. I also like having someone to yell at every time I feel like venting my rage, I can literally accuse them for anything. They can’t talk back if they don’t want to give me an excuse to beat them up! And I can beat them up whenever, I once did it when my kid didn’t close the door I said they should close every time they go thru. I also like having my food brought to me without getting up, having them look for shit I lose, cleaning when I make a mess, and doing my dirty work when I feel like resting or abusing someone else. I also enjoy how they can’t tell anyone about what I do to them in private – I already spread the world that they’re a lying little bastard so nobody will believe them! And they’re too scared of me to spill the beans anyway. Ah, what a great parent I am, ask anyone, they’ve all seen how nice I am to my kid in public.