furiousgoldfish:

lies abusive parents make children believe:

• my parents couldn’t have known they were hurting me
• my parents would never do something that hurtful on purpose
• my parents are good people, they do good work and they can’t be abusive
• my parents only meant the best and it would hurt them if I accused them of
  abusing me
• my parents already deal with so much it would be selfish to accuse them of
  anything
• my parents would have stopped if they knew they were traumatizing me, it’s
  not their fault
• my parents just have some trouble taking responsibility for their actions
• my parents would be too hurt if I didn’t think they were good parents, I
  have to reasure them I only think well of them
• If I say anything against my parents, I’ll end up being ungrateful, selfish
  and spoiled, I have to think of everything they did for me and if they ended up
  hurting me a little that should be fine
• if my parents didn’t do what they did, I would end up a monster
• it was only because of my actions my parents acted as they did, if I was a
  good child none of it would happen
• it was me giving my parents a hard time, not the reverse, I was making them
  feel bad, they had to go as far as they did to show me how horrible I was
• my parents would have never done anything I didn’t deserve, and I deserved everything
  they did
• my parents just tried to make me stronger and prepare me for life
• my parents just thought they were doing the right thing, that I needed to
  be treated this way to not grow up into a horrible, spoiled monster
• my parents made me and know me the longest so they must be right about me,
  and everything they think and say about me must be true
• my parents would feel so awful if they knew how much they hurt me
• i’m responsible for protecting my parents from the knowledge of what they
  did to me
• I don’t want my parents to suffer and if they knew I was holding something
  against them it would hurt them so much

These are all false. All children let their parents know when parents are
hurting them, and its completely impossible to be hurting a child without
knowing it, even if children are doing their best to hide it. Parents who hurt
children are no longer good people. Social status of parents doesn’t affect
weather they’re abusive or not, what they do to children says it. Parents who
convince their child that the child is the last and least important priority
and should move all their emotions aside in order to not bother parents, are
abusive. Parents who force the child to believe that holding them responsible
for their own actions is equal to hurting them, are lying – if they were hurt
by implication that they’re hurting children, they would be extremely careful
not to hurt children! Instead they’re careful to keep hurting children and to
not be called out. Parents who use children’s inexperience to convince them
they would in fact, become horrible if not for abuse, are actual demons.
Parents who can say to their child that being hurt as a tiny, helpless human
being in development, is making them stronger, are malicious liars who want to
keep destroying their child, while having the child pretend to be strong. If
parents convince the child that the child is deserving of pain and to be hurt,
they’re demons. Any parent who makes excuses for abusing a child and tries to
justify it and make the child take blame for what happened, is abusive. They’re
an adult who was facing a child and took the chance to hurt, torture, and
permanently traumatize a small, helpless human being who couldn’t defend or
strike back, or even process what was going on.
There are no excuses for this. There are no reasons for this. There are
no justifications.