rideonmidnightcowgirl:

I think like the most traumatizing thing abou growing up for me was like…getting my period for the first time and having my mom say “you’re a woman now” because I knew like…as a girl I could run and play sports (even tho I hated sports lol) and go on adventures and my mind was still more or less a neutral mind but I knew none of those things existed for a woman because I had never seen a depiction of a woman who behaved the way girls got to and wasn’t beautiful. Like being a woman means you have to force your mind inside your body and going from the boundless consciousness of girlhood which was for me a world of cruelty and directness and intent into womanhood-where you are never intelligent or an athlete or someone whose mind exists as a means of will and desire but is always a woman and only a woman-is of course a kind of death